Thu Dec 25, 06:26 PM
It’s almost the end of the year. Today is Christmas Day. This year has shown me much of what God can really do in my life. I’ve grown to rely on Him in the many aspects of my life. Today, I’m reminded that our God came down to save us from our sin because of His love for us.
I’ve changed so much within this past year, I can still remember who I was in the beginning, where I was in January.
Christmas isn’t about giving gifts as we know, there’s a whole year for that. Here are some highlights of the gifts I’ve received this year:
My sister’s daughter, my niece.
Being able to serve in a ministry. Last year, after serving in New Orleans, I felt moved to serve more. Being able to do work that glorifies Him.
Visit http://co-project.org, for more details.
Building relationships with good friends. There’s a bunch God can do with family, a whole bunch more with friends. Then friends become more like brothers and sisters… and it’s just amazing.
Work.
I work with the most amazing people. Everyone’s encouraging, patient and willing to teach. I was praying for a job that would allow me to continue to serve in ministry. Prayer answered.
Cycling. It’s become a hobby that gives me the excercise I need, and the time to meditate on the many things that have happened in my life.
Aside from these, there’s just many things that I can’t even begin to enumerate all the things that had happened this year, everything I’ve eventually taken in joy as a blessing. I’m looking forward in hope of this new year.
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Mon Sep 22, 06:01 AM
I don’t believe in fate or fortune, predestination, or destiny. I do believe in an omniscient God who knows what I will do, say, think, or feel before I do, say, think, or feel it. I believe that even though God knows all this, He allows our own free will and judgment to let us live our own lives even if that means living it apart from Him.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been experiencing “unfortunate,” physical mishaps. Which I could recount with the introduction of an allergic reaction, a bike accident, head carpet burn, and another allergic reaction. All of these events are marked with band-aids. All of these band-aids were comedic.
In good humor let’s list them out:
- Two large band-aids on the neck on left and right side so I didn’t habitually pick at the rashes.
- A band-aid on the ear because the bicycle accident left me with a minor grazed ear, that I keep picking at… so there’s another band-aid.
- Lastly, the fore-head band-aid… just say no to carpet burn.
Now, it’s the middle of the month, what’s the worse that could happen? Right? I’ve been living both a pretty accident prone and accident free life. I just feel somewhat both normal and abnormal that I’m in this situation. In any case, each one has been a learning experience, and hilarious. (Except the bicycle accident, it’s a bit scary knowing I could have gotten run over.)
So, here’s what I say to “unfortuneity,” you don’t exist. Literally, you do not exist.
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Thu Sep 11, 11:47 AM
I woke up and many of my muscles started hurting. Somebody was probably beating me up while I was sleeping. In any case, the injuries I accrued were more bruises than scuffs or small scars. The few muscles on the bottom of my hands feel bruised, triceps too. It’s just a strange feeling, having almost random parts hurt.
Overall, I’m fine though. My body is recovering, it’s a bit tired, I’m at work… it’s all good. Whatever doesn’t kill me gives me another opportunity to praise God. Next time I go riding, I’ll be either wearing a helmet or taking side streets.
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Wed Sep 10, 06:45 PM
I just discovered the horror of falling off a bike. About an hour ago, I was riding down Imperial Highway downhill on Puente Street towards Brea Boulevard, going around 15 to 20mph. What happened was I somehow got my foot stuck in the front wheel.
The bike was flung over me as I was literally flying in the air, I landed about ten feet away. The injuries accrued were just scuffs on my right hand’s pinky, left hand is bruised a bit, and my chest is probably bruised. The bike damage is that the front fork is bent back a bit. It’s a very odd accident. I could have been hit by a car after falling.
In any case, I just hope it doesn’t happen again.
I really thank God, I’m okay.
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Sun Sep 7, 04:31 AM
I’ve somewhat neglected my website for a few month and a few weeks now. Not that I don’t want to finish the design for the Portfolio and Art section, don’t get me wrong, I do want to finish those… I’ve been busy looking for a job.
For the past four months, I’ve been going to Long Beach with my friends to feed the homeless under the 7th street bridge. In-between the ministry on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’ve been “online,” filling out applications, calling offices, and building my website.
Things I’ve learned about being unemployed:
- Spiritually, I became much more reliant on God to provide means for me to get through these days. For some people, the anxiety of eventually running out of money would smother them into a panic. I, on the other hand, was going out and about doing good, not for my sake but for the sake of others who needed it. This period of time gave me the chance to reflect on my life and not be selfish towards my neighbor.
- Never become idle. When I wasn’t doing anything I became both restless and lazy. It was the frustration of wanting to do more. When I realized this, I occupied my time with activities and job applications.
- Financially, I was poor. I had enough money to last me two months of bills. Two months sounded like enough time to look for a job… having enough savings to overestimate unemployment time is something I wish I thought about. On the other hand, being poor made me value what I have more. Another aspect of this was realizing the consumerist culture we have here in Orange County, of wanting more and better things. There were many times when compulsive buying was strictly prohibited for me, it taught me not to be a compulsive consumer.
- I need to look for a job that somewhat fulfills my niche. The previous company I’ve worked for had great people working there. They were humorous and very family like. I enjoyed their company because of the knowledge they had about the products they provided and all the processes that it took to manufacture and deliver these goods. I was there doing mostly clerical work 95% of the time. I couldn’t stand it. I realize that I was way more fulfilled at a previous job I had a year ago, working for a print shop that produced great work. I was a pre-press operator… it fulfilled my niche.
There are times when I just miss working. I’ve never felt controlled by the comfort of money until I didn’t have any of it. Financial freedom is something worth investing in but it shouldn’t be my highest priority. I’ve heard the phrases, “there’s much more to life than money,” and “money can’t bring you happiness.” As idealistic as those may sound, those statements are true and I can attest to them.
The Other Half
I’m 21, I still live with my parents, I have the greatest siblings and friends. As they somewhat carried the weight of my burdens, in different aspects of it, I dealt with the anxiety of trying hard to carry the weight on my own. It wasn’t until the money I saved up ran out, that I became much more reliant on God and the people around me.
The reality is, financially, the burden on my family became unbearable. I’ve been patient in my “job hunt.” Doing the best I can, looking out for desperation, having a clear intent in mind… I can only hope that I do better the next time around.
This whole thing has been a leap of faith, and so far, I do feel God’s work being done in me. It brings happiness and heartache, now faith isn’t as illogical as it seemed years ago.
I know that once I get a new job, I may not be feeding the homeless in Long Beach, I may not be able to see my friends as often as I did, I’ll be tired on days I want to go out and have fun, and I’ll just be busy. (And many other things.) But there’s more to life than living it nonchalantly in faith, there’s also responsibility.
Responsibility is the largest thing I’ve come to know in all this. When this thought comes to mind, “it’s really weird how it all works out…” I know it’s God’s doing, because I know that I have no control over the situation. I realize that responsibility kicks in when there’s a specific action I have to take in order to do the right thing. I have to do the right thing and get a job.
Patience
As much as I knew in my mind that I wanted to have a job, I needed to have a job… I was praying for God’s providence. I found myself waiting and questioning God, “Why not yet? Why do I not have a job yet?” Waiting is much harder when you don’t know what’s going to happen next. When the only control you have is finding prospective employers, filling out applications, and making great impressions in interviews. It gets hard to wait for the improbable. You tend to lose hope after thirty applications, five interviews, and just not having work to do. When the only worth you have is to your friends and family.
Patience is a virtue that is learned through trial.
I was hoping on God to provide. I was hoping for God to provide just anything and I’d take it. Just humbled because everything I’ve tried to do to get a job, just didn’t work. The longest I’ve gone before this five month jobless season was two weeks. So I waited and sometimes pleaded in prayer. Patience is a virtue that is learned through trial.
God provided a job, recently. It’s the most unimaginable thing that has happened in my life so far. Just amazing. I wrote this article on August 27, 2008 and felt that it was unfinished. I feel that it is now.
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